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[Apr. 1st, 2006|11:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
OMG! my dad just gave me a laptop! how cool is that? it isnt brand new or anything but it works just fine. I am so so so excited... I traded beds with him and trina last night because mine was a queen and they had a full and it is like really high up! I should be organizing my room but I keep getting destracted. IO should hurry up and fix my room and then study but maybe I will study tomrrow. hmmmmmmm I am at the kitchen table, daddy has to rin the cord to my bedroom because we dont have a wireless card for my computer yet! it doesnt have a lot of memory but that is okay. I am just happy that I have one. It is great. well I should really go and finish my room I have a lot of work to do, hopefully I will be back on later and it will be in my room! yay... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2006|03:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
YES! tomorrow off from school... how great is that? I really hope wayne is off because then I can go to my moms and get some of my stuff that I am in dire need for, then we can go to walmart and get my hair cut and then eat and see a movie... that sounds pretty darn good...
hmmmmm I dunno maybe I will practice a little for softball. I am so out of shape and if its warm maybe I will lay out or something... well I have to go my sister is back home... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2006|08:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
ugh... I feel...bleh. like I am going to spew. I am all alone because robin had to work, daddy his gf and the kids are in like new jersey or something... I dunno. but yyeah. I went to emerald isle to see She's The Man with julie I had lots of fun...yay lol and I bought some new lotion in walmart...oh and I saw my mom...the first time since I moved out...yeah and I almost cried because she was crying so yeah I still feel like the worst person ever, and I called wayne to make sure I made the right decision... and he said that I did that I was completely miserable there and that I am so much happier now and that I only cry when he makes me really really upset so basically I dont cry half as much as I use to...so yeah but still I feel like a bad person... :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|08:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  intimidated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | james blunt-out of my mind | ] |
I find myself suddenly caring about things that I shouldn't that I never have before...and old jealousys acting up again... I feel so alien in my own skin right now...
I miss claire... I need a ride home tomorrow and I have no clue of how I am getting one...
Ugh I just feel lost and not like myself...I dont know how I feel exactly but it is a weird feeling...
yeah.....I have so much running through my mind but I cant slow it down long enough to say something...
I am hallow and outta my mind.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
I am tired...and I think I have a fever which is not good... he was suppose to be here like 20 minutes ago but i havent even heard from him...hell show up at like 8 or something...
hmmmm my weekend has sucked ass...friday night was nice though it started out a little rough... hmmmm wow I dont even know what to say...
*sigh* I have no idea what I am going to do with my life anymore...everything has just fallen apart... wish I had some fabric and a sewing machine...that would help pass the time... actually I wish I had my computer also...yeah...hmmm all my stuff is still at my house...I am not really excited about getting it though I want it I just dont want to go back...im not ready yet... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2006|03:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
....frustration...saddness...I feel like a horrible person but i can't tell anyone why... too complicated...
I hate how you are always talking about another girl...if its not one its the other...if you arent with one, youre with the other...I know nothing is going on, I know this, I know you guys are really good friends...but maybe you have feelings for these people and you just don't know it or something I don't know...I dare not bring it up because I fear the immaturity level will rise once again.
so close to the edge...thats what I am right now. I wish I had the guts to just say what I want...but I can't at least not to someones face, see I can only truely express myself over the internet but I don't want this person to think I am a horrid bitch...I just am not brave enough to say it to their face. I honestly fear how immature it will turn out... made into a big deal and it isn't. I am just so stressed right now and I need some time...we are really diff. people... way diff. we never talk we hardly hangout...we never have anything to say to eachother... Im not blaming them but I just feel like I am being unfair to them and myself. but I honestly want to be friends...they are a great person and such...
oh goodness someone please tell me what to do...I need help... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2006|03:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | distressed | ] |
*sigh* home from school, finally...you know I didn't see claire at all today... that was a very random thought....I think my ferret is having a nervous breakdown... I feel bad for her, I mean all she has ever known is my house and here she is...in a random place that she doesn't like I can tell, and she just wants to go home but she can't....wow that sounds like me...haha well its all still true...
I am home sick....so sick, bleh I just want all this to go away, I wish I was just at least 18 right now. yeah that would be great.... I don't really know what to say. I need to do my homework anyway.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|08:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
I wish you would stop being such an ass, such a prick, such a bastard, ugh I could go on and on with horrid names that I could call you right now. I wish you wouldn't hang up on my ALL the damn time and that you were there when I need you to be, I wish you wouldn't lie to me ALL the time, everything that has ever come out of your mouth...a lie, its like all you know how to do is run away and lie... now you have really pissed me off, I only want to talk to you so I can fuss at you. oh and I hate when you turn off your GD phone! you always do it on purpose becuase you are the meanest person ever. I wish you would actually listen to me and care about how I worry, but no you don't want to be with me, you don't want to talk to me, or listen to anything I say, everything I care about you think is stupid, you sure as hell don't want me to care about you
now youve called and said that your phone quit...wtf...thats bullshit and you know it |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|04:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
today has been...rough. I am tired, I have cried a lot, and well I moved out...that was the toughest thing ever my mom has like disowned me for the most part...I feel like shit and I just wish "he" was here... I can really talk to him and it calms me down most of the time but he isn't even down this weekend. :( oh goodness I am so distraught right now. I mean what am I suppose to do. I have to go back sometime to get all my stuff I only have like most of my clothes with me. I am so stressed out about this ugh I can't take all this crap... I wish someone was here to talk to...hmmm maybe xoe can come stay...oh wait I think she is going to stay with claire...not cool I am all alone...and I need to ask brian if he can pick me up and take me to school monday but I can't get up with him... I don't really know what else to say. I am sad and alone but my sister said that when she moved out it was the best thing she has ever done and that she is way happier here...so maybe it will all work out...I have so much homework and I can't concentrate to do it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|09:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
ugh! today has been so awful... i feel like shit and i am so tired..... rfszgfbghnjmhjcnydfgWEqeyrcfnyjvujhnyujik,l,k,bjvnc hfgcx...aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh frustration!!!!!
maybe tomorrow will br better...but i doubt it |
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